A sad sad year

it's all started when i studied in matriculation in Negeri Sembilan in 2002-2003. i met this one great girl name N and we became great friends. it was a great one year of studying. we had a lot of fun. unlike everyone saying that matriculation is a very tough place to study. nothing like that at all! i love all the memories we had in matriculation.

N and i are very good friends until now. i even slept at her house during her engagement ceremony. i even accompany her when she first met and date her husband. yes, they were ups and downs in our relationship. she didn't tell me she's getting married only 3 weeks before the wedding. i was so upset. i thought we were best friend and she left out the very little detail about her upcoming marriage. but for me, it's not little. marriage is once in a lifetime. how could she left me out of the discussion and not telling me earlier. i was so upset and i didn't come to her wedding.. and i really2 regret it ever since. one year, one whole year we didn't talk or sms or call each other. i even didn't know that she had a baby until...

one day, the thoughts come to my mind to visit her facebook and i found out that she was really2 sick. she had a 5cm brain tumor. OMG! what happened. what have i done? she only get to see her son for two days. and now she stays about 50 days in HKL coming in and out the operation theatre. i cried everytime i think of her ever since. and now the tumor has become cancer stage 4. last time i visit her, she was so helpless. she can only turn her head around. she can barely speak, can't walk.

i cried. i tried to hold but i can't. i told her that i'm so sorry. and she also ask me to forgive her. i did. she can't see her son, she can't treat her husband like a normal person do. and now she suffers cancer. we thought we had all the problems in the world but we don't. i'm praying everyday for her health. i hope she will get better and be with her husband and son.. and i miss her so much!

The End of 2010

To my followers, I'm sorry I didn't update my blog. It's just I'm not a very good writer and I'm busy. But this time I tried to update it frequently. It has been a good year. What doest it take to be a good teacher? We all wondered. As for me, I did not want any recognition from the higher ups. I just want my students to acknowledge what a good teacher I am, how I changed their perceptions, and maybe how I changed their lives. That's why while I'm teaching, their face expressions are very important to me. I need to looked at every faces so I know whether they understand or not. And I have to study before I go to class so I will be prepared 100% for any questions they'll asked.

The Beginning of 2010

First, i'd like to introduce myself. My name is Aisha Rafiza Binti Mohd Ridzuan. I am a simple malay girl live in Malaysia. I work as a teacher in Masai, Johor and my hometown is in Bandar Bukit Mahkota, Kajang. I have been a teacher for 2 years. I know my English is not that good, but I prefer to write this in English so everyone from all over the world can read this. I want to start writing blogs so I can share my point of view of being a teacher in a small low live village in Johor where the backgrounds of most of my students are labors, clerks etc. My school is new. It's only been 7 years since they're opened. So, many of my colleagues are quite young and about my age. Many of them are not married yet. So, when we say young, new teachers, we will always play by the rule or listen to what the superior ask us to do without complaining. It's not 2010 yet but I already know 1 of my task. Which is to be form teacher of the remove class. Remove class, duh. They don't understand other languages except their own which is Chinese where I never know my whole life. How challenging is that?! I'd teach them on my 1st year being a teacher. Been there, done that. I know the feeling. Usually the "superior" put new teachers to be in charge of the class, but guess what. They still put me in the class, now as their form teacher. I cried overnight when I heard the news. But now i want to accept it as a challenge. If they want me to be in charge of the class, they'll have to cope it my way!